$2,439/month electricity bill? Now that's an 'Inconvenient Truth"!

Ha, ha, ha. At least that's what Scott said. Sorry. Couldn't help myself.

Given that this report came from a rather shady little organization called the Tennessee Center for Policy Research (vague enough for you) and their site links to mostly right-wing websites and blogs, call me a skeptic.

But some facts are obvious. Gore didn't deny the amount of the bill in his response. His kilowatt usage is twenty times the national average and his usage, and here's the kicker (get to that later), actually went up in the last year.

After reading his response, something seemed a little off. His office's reference to the buying of carbon offsets to defray the cost of the carbon footprint of his home seemed fishy. Then I ran across this editorial from the Economist that says it better than my fast-fading memory of college environmental lectures ever could (you may have to watch an advertisement - do it because it's worth it).

And here's the kicker. Gore, you dope, wouldn't you think if you're going to release a major documentary about global warming, a phenomenon directly connected to man's - and particularly the United States' - rampant abuse of limited natural resources, you would care to check your own electric bill? And it went up?! And you drove a five-car motorcade consisting of two limos and a Dodge truck to the premiere that was five blocks away? In the immortal words of Gob, "C'mon!" No matter who broke the story, he deserves a beating for being this stupid.

Case Closed. Over. Done.

Over the last year, since Game of Shadows was released, sports talk radio has been flooded with Barry Bonds/steroids apologists/deniers.

Even given the breadth and depth of the work and authoritative research that has yet to be credibly debunked, there is a certain contingent of mouth-breathers out there that continue to be skeptical, waiting for more 'definite' proof. Well, here it is.

Page down a bit and you will see that, since Bonds joined the Giants at age 28, his shoe size went from a 10 1/2 cleat to a size 13! Done. Over. Stop talking. That doesn't happen. It just doesn't happen.

If you haven't read the book, do so. Read an excerpt here.




Who says there is no more grace in life. Anyone who grew up around Chicago and was a sports fan knew who Chet Coppock was. He dominated the sports scene simply by finding every way possible to put his mug in front of the camera or his piehole on the airwaves. With his dopey suspenders, tacky fur coat, overly-polished patois and 'that's the way I see it' jargon, he practically begged people to hate him.

When I interned on the Mac, Jurko & Harry Show in the fall of '04, there were early whisperings that Dan McNeil and Chet Coppock had made up after a decade-long and well-publicized feud that began when Dan was the executive producer of Chet's show on the Loop (first incarnation of WMVP). A lot of the talk was vague, as Dan abhorred any talk of the feud and would tell you so. But some of the stories of Chet's complete assholishness were legendary.

His precipitous fall brought new meaning to the term 'market correction'. He was shuffled off to the fledging (and abysmal) Sporting News Radio for a few years until he returned to Chicago radio late last year, joining WMVP on weekends with Steve 'Mongo' McMichael for the worst radio show I have ever heard (and that includes the Mike Murphy Show). For a great laugh, visit Chet's website. There isn't anything or anyone for which he won't shill.

Dan McNeil essentially makes the decisions at WMVP. From my obviously limited observations, nothing happened without first consulting Dan. Bringing Chet back into the fold had to make him smile. With Chet being relegated to weekend mop-up duties and stuck with boobs like McMichael, Dan had to see this as a coda for Coppock, and a shitty one at that. It was a final kick to the groin for a man who treated him like shit for all those years.

"Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it!" - Gob

NBC has taken this lame horse out back behind the barn and shot it. Thank the Almighty. Never has a show been such a laborious task to watch. Why did I watch it? Because it was on television. And Monday night to boot.

Last November, an article (can't find-still looking) detailed how writers in Hollywood watched for the sole purpose of mocking it with their writer-friends the next day; something along the lines of "Tuesday has never been such glorious romp!" Aaron Sorkin, known for his lightning-fast dialogue and shoving pretentious storylines down your throat, tried to make us care about the actions and feelings of TV executives and producers like it mattered. And the narcissism! It made me feel positively Mother Teresa-like in comparison. Bloggers and discussion boards talked at length how the show's storylines were direct parallels to his own personal and professional life. Geesh! Get some help!

I used to have a friend. He lived in his mind, his bubble, his world. Social interactions were anthropological experiments, though he, himself, was terribly and embarrassingly socially awkward. While unbelievably bright, he smoked way too much pot and became so hyper-aware, he became a bit of a pariah, never understanding people may be as smart as him. The similarities, to me, have been striking.

Strong opinions do not necessarily make good opinions. Strong lines do not necessarily make good lines in context. In script and on TV, it becomes a bit of a farce, a silliness reserved for the sort of swooning that comes with 3am insomnia, a bottle of vodka and the Google search engine (thanks, Johnny Goldstein).

When it was on, SportsNight was a joy to watch, mainly because parameters were set early on, pointedly saying that the rather irrelevant world of sports had it's moments of tension/emotions/surprises, making for good drama when contained within itself. I wanted to like Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Sorkin made it tough.


Tidbits: Andrew Leonard's column/blog How The World Works on Salon.com is a must-read and, unfortunately, has become the only thing worth reading on the website. In 2003 (and showed signs before then), it became a whip for the MoveOn.org crowd. But check him out.

"You know what they say when you assume..."

Living most of my adult life in a college town came with some advantages. Aside from the ease with which I could postpone real life - taking a leisurely twelve years to get my bachelor's degree - the town oozed with the bright-eyed audacity and recklessness that comes with eternal youth. But it was like Logan's Run. People in their 30s just didn't exist. Anyone showing some level of caution or reason was immediately marginalized. And liberal, oh was it liberal! And mostly not the good kind. The recent social engineering bent of the Chicago City Council is peanuts compared to some of the studies and surveys I saw in the political science/anthropology/journalism departments at the University of Iowa.

With that, here's a little number from the LA Times:

For generations it has been one of the great American axioms, accepted truth on diamonds, courts and gridirons everywhere: Sports builds character, instilling the values of teamwork and good sportsmanship.

But amid fresh headlines of alleged cheating in auto racing, continuing controversies over steroid use in baseball, track and cycling and ugly brawls among basketball players comes a nationwide survey suggesting a decidedly darker vision of sports.

"There is reason to worry that the sports fields of America are becoming the training grounds for the next generation of corporate and political villains and thieves," says Los Angeles ethicist Michael Josephson.

The latest two-year study of high school athletes by the Josephson Institute found a higher rate of cheating in school among student-athletes than among their classmates. It also found a growing acceptance of cheating to gain advantages in competition.

Josephson's report, based on interviews across the country with 5,275 high school athletes, concluded that too many coaches are "teaching our kids to cheat and cut corners."

And my favorite quote that made me spit out my coffee:

'When your coach has not gone through four or five years of college, does not have a degree in education, and is not involved in the kids' grades or classes, there's going to be an inherent amount of drop-off in the effect they have on the kids.'
— Barbara Fiege, commissioner of the CIF City Section in Los Angeles

The sports world is not exempt from anything. In fact, in many ways, it gets a free pass because nobody wants to take on the legion of mouth-breathers and idiot parents. But this kind of stuff is just getting really old. Given that, a study of this sort doesn't pass my bullshit meter, especially when the institute conducting the survey makes no bones about their preconceived notions. Dopes. I can just imagine the smugness and blather going on at that roundtable. You know, the kind of environment that is so insular that adjectives for the sports world fly with the same vitriol of a bigoted fuck talking about 'those blacks'.

In an age where laws can be proposed and drugs can be approved with scant evidence to their legitimacy, it's this kind of crap that makes me queasy. What law would be passed based on this survey? Probably none. But that "probably" is becoming shakier everyday. If you need further evidence as to how shit like this works, read this book and this book. Keep a warm bucket of water next to your chair.


Tidbits:

On Saturday, Sound Opinions had a great interview with Tommy Ramone. In a few days (once the broadcast is podcasted), listen to it here.

New favorite wine: Raventos i Blanc "Silencis" Xarel-lo, Penedes 2005. If you like cava, this is the backbone of the sparkler. Nice fruit, hint of vanilla and medium dryness. Just started appreciating whites. Tough to find. Buy it here.

I steered away from In America because it had that whiff of wholesome, feel-goodiness to me. If you haven't seen it, check it out. Not bad at all.

A table walked in twenty minutes before we opened yesterday. We sat them with the stipulation that our wood-fired oven won't be ready until the top of the hour but they were more than welcome to have a drink and wait. The wife gave a slight eye-roll and the husband an audible gasp. As they were walking to their table, a co-worker said, "Hi, how are you doing." They just ignored him. After sitting down, I went up to them and politely asked if they would like a drink and hear the specials. The wife looked at me sternly and said, "Oh, stop it. You don't have to pretend." This started our Saturday night.

"I coulda been a contender...if only that kiddie porn charge went away."

It was reported a few months ago that Mitch Hurwitz, the creator of Arrested Development, is adapting an American version of the British show The Thick of It for ABC. The pilot is scheduled for fall. If you haven't seen the British version, find it! You will never see a more believable boob on television and the writing is as good, if not better than AD.

BBCAmerica aired the first season last summer with a two-hour special and ten new episodes coming this year. Season one brings a bit of an ick factor, though. A year ago, the series' star, Chris Langham, was arrested on charges of downloading child pornography and indecent assault, among other charges, 'buggery' being one of them. Though Langham maintains his innocence, the details are Creepy, Creepy, Creepy.

If it's true, a special place in hell awaits. Regardless (though that's tough to write), the comedy is as good as I've seen in a LONG time.


On TV-related topics, the second season of HBO's Extras is everything the first season promised to be. The sort of cringe-inducing hilarity that the BBC version of The Office delivered is back and, in some ways, it's even more squeamish.

And unfortunately, The Sarah Silverman Program has grown so unbelievably tiresome after only two episodes. There used to be a time when she could read the dictionary and I'd be rollin'. I'm all for vagina/fart/vagina fart jokes, but GEEESHHH!

"I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there, it's so petty." - Imelda Marcos

By JOCELYN GECKER, Associated Press WriterSat Feb 10, 4:57 PM ET

It was an evening of utter decadence — a 10-course gourmet dinner concocted by world-renowned chefs at $25,000 a head.

Many of those who attended Saturday night's culinary extravaganza in Bangkok hailed it as the meal of a lifetime. But it's no easy task to eat plate after plate of Beluga caviar, Perigord truffles, Kobe beef, Brittany lobster — each paired with a rare and robust vintage wine.

"It's really amazing," said one diner, Sophiane Foster, a wealthy Cambodian who lives in Malaysia, as she eyed the dinner's eighth course — a "pigeon en croute with cepes mushrooms." "But I can't finish it. Your senses can only appreciate so much."

High-rolling food lovers flew in from the United States, Europe, the Middle East and other parts of Asia for the 40-seat dinner organized by the Lebua luxury hotel in Bangkok, grandly titled "Epicurean Masters of the World."

Cooked by six three-star Michelin chefs — four from France and one each from Germany and Italy — the menu featured complicated creations like "tartar of Kobe beef with Imperial Beluga caviar and Belon oysters" and "mousseline of 'pattes rouges' crayfish with morel mushroom infusion."

Among the talented chefs, some said they found it challenging to give diners their money's worth.

Antoine Westermann of Le Buerhiesel, a top-class restaurant in Strasbourg, France, said he shaved 3 1/2 ounces of Perigord truffles — worth about $350 — onto each plate of his "coquille Saint-Jacques and truffles."

"For $25,000, what do you expect?" he said.

I've never wished food poisoning on anybody, but...

After indulging in the extravagance that is Alinea last December, a minimum level of frivolity when it comes to dining has begun to creep into my being. Curiosity always quashed good sense. I'm glad I went, but Alinea's 24-course meal with wine pairings was hit-and-miss, mostly miss, and the place was a little too smitten with it's own preciosity.

I've never met a chef I liked as a person, always admired their modus operandi w/r/t the ethics of cooking, but could never get passed their coke-addled arrogance or piety. The (fairly) recent explosion of gastronomy has been great, but thoughts of rampant silliness can't escape my brain. Is it too much to ask to put the prices on the menu, something becoming increasingly common in the upper crust of the restaurant world. I'm beginning to think we were in a tenable position for all of three seconds. Mostly reactionary thoughts, but NYT seems to agree (RR); yet another reason to justify the hatred of rich fucks.

With Alinea, it was curious, yet revealing, to find one's limits. We love to dine out. It really is an experience that, in most cases, is worth the silliness and price that comes with it, but the Achatz and others of his ilk's 'fabulousness' tax is getting a little ridiculous. Moto and Schwa are next for us, French Laundry a dream. Happy eating...and bring a loan application.

"Beginnings are great. It's the furthest point from regret."

I'm in...this blogging thing. Why, you most likely didn't ask? Because I'm bored. With a job that demands twenty-five hours a week and a commute that is all of three minutes, where's the time? I have no children (unless you count a periodically needy dog), no stress, no work that comes home with me and a wife sent from whatever higher power exists. I'm a waiter...a 34 year-old bald waiter. Just really bald.

I expect a plethora (word that should never be used in conversation - WTSNBUIC) of things to be discussed, most likely between myself and I, with copious (WTSNBUIC) amounts of silliness, indulgences and meanderings. Let's get the perfunctory statistics out of the way:

Sports - Angels, Hawkeyes, Browns. In that order. Never met another Angels fan, know only two other Browns fans and graduated from Iowa, so I'm stuck with them.

Politics - Left-leaning and, oddly, it's getting worse with one caveat (WTSNBUIC) - I pretty much can't listen to one current Democrat spew self-righteously without feeling a little chunk come back up (when did I have mustard?).

Tech - First-generation iPod, Mac Powerbook G4 and a pre-paid T-Mobile cell (mainly because I never use it - who going to call me?). Huge DirecTV and TiVo disciple. That may be my limits, though the Sony Bravia is getting closer to becoming a reality.

Music - Who knows? Changes monthly. Beatles, of course. New music would include Arcade Fire, Ray LaMontagne and Daedelus with Supreme Beings of Leisure and Boards of Canada sprinkled in. Still finding new layers in Dear Catastrophe Waitress (Belle & Sebastian).

Movies - Same as above. New movies I've seen and liked include Tstosi, Caché, Three Times, The Intruder, Idiocracy, His Girl Friday, Seventh Seal and Out of Africa (which I watched for the first time last week, unbelievably).

Television - The Wire. Period. Done. Hands down the best show to ever air on TV. Tivoing Arrested Development on G4, I own them but I'm lazy. Friday Night Lights is the most impressive, unwatched, undiscovered show out there. Kudos to NBC for hanging in there. The Office.

Radio - I spend more time listening to radio than watching TV. Best show - Boers & Bernstein and it's not even close. Others that are great: TAL, Sound Opinions, TOTN (thank God it's back), Wait, Wait, Extension 720. Shows I have grown to hate or have grown tiresome: Prairie Home Companion, Whad'ya Know, Worldview (you REALLY would think Jerome would get better) and anything for which Mike North might be involved. What would be the word for when someone becomes a caricature of a caricature of a caricature? You have to commend the effort.

That is all. I hope to explore such culturally-relevant topics as dipshit comments by restaurant patrons, dipshit coffeehouse chatter, dipshit local news broadcasts, dipshit Cubs fans and anything else dipshit-related that primarily makes me feel superior. Input always welcomed. Thanks for reading.